tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70935410742458315092024-03-05T09:12:50.276-07:00I Wish to Live Deliberately...and not when I came to die, discover I had not lived.MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.comBlogger210125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-8430624328725246872013-05-19T23:04:00.003-06:002013-05-19T23:04:52.243-06:00ContemplatingYou might want to skip this one. It's long and boring and mostly just for me.<br />
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When I was 12 I entered "young women's and I was told to write a list of all the attributes of the guy I wanted to marry. Height, hair color, career choice, hobbies, and other trivial attributes made the list. At the age of 12, marriage, and the specifics of the guy I wanted to marry, were shoved down my throat as if it was the only important thing I'd ever do. While I could argue it might be the MOST important thing I'll do one day, (maybe), I'm upset at the things I was taught. I feel it was portrayed that as a woman brains didn't matter and your worth was based on the kind of man you could catch. You can imagine how picky that makes the girls. Really, I think the boys are taught the same thing and it's just a bunch of picky people not enjoying each other's company. Furthermore, it didn't stop in young women's As a young single adult in the LDS church I attend a singles ward full of misfits. Those between the ages of 18-30 who are not married, or are no longer married. Part of this is in hopes that if they stick us together we will pair off and become married. I believe the other part is because they don't want the misfits infiltrating their perfect family wards so they exile us together. I've enjoyed the singles ward because it's really really nice to go to church and have it quiet. Also, it's really nice to talk about living in a family centered culture where you have yet to start one. It's nice to talk about family values and the problems that face YSAs without being looked down upon. And, as wonderful and adorable as children are, it's annoying to have little kids running around the chapel and yelling through talks. I think that once you have kids you start to not mind it as much but when you don't have kids, well, it's hard to focus. So just as we did in young women's, in relief society, we talk about all different aspects and quite often dating and marriage come up. And once again "the list" surfaces. All sorts of stupid attributes come out and people start talking about who knows what kind of attributes they look for and why they won't even go on dates with certain guys "because I deserve more". And my blood starts to boil because they are missing the point entirely.<br />
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But let me back up a second.<br />
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I've been dating this guy for the past three months. I haven't wanted to be exclusive because I'm afraid of relationships. I just recently opened myself up to someone for the first time in oh, a decade, and I was on the losing end of that. I didn't even get a chance. Mostly because I suppose I didn't fit the criteria on HIS list. I mean who the hell cares that I'm just trying my best, that I'm trying to be a better person everyday, that I'm trying to always live worthy of my temple recommend. I wasn't good enough. And really, that's ok. It's not some national crime to not reciprocate feelings for someone. But here I am, feeling screwed over by the universe for allowing me to have these feelings for someone I thought fit "the list" exactly and then this AMAZING AMAZING man comes out of nowhere and asks me on a date I didn't even realize was a date. And he's probably the most attractive men I've ever met, and he's unbelievably kind, and not once have I ever felt uncomfortable around him or like I can't be myself. He is so funny, caring, compassionate, and hard working. He knows exactly what to do to make me react whether it's make me laugh or make me squirm, and he mimics all my weird noises I make 10 THOUSAND times a day. When I pout that he's making fun of me his expression instantaneously changes and he tells me how much he loves my noises and adores me. We giggle and laugh and stay up until all hours of the morning the next day talking and talking. And yet, he's not good enough because of certain qualities. I can't be exclusive with him because I'm not "ready". Heaven forbid someone find out X or X about him. I mean how DARE I like someone who isn't perfect?<br />
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Yesterday he came to pick me up at my house for a date. We were running a little late so I sat on the porch ready to hop in his car when he got here. And he turned the car off, got out, and came to give me a hug. He never takes our time for granted and he always makes a point of making me feel special. We get back into the car and we weren't a mile from my house and all the sudden his car just DIED. After a quick analysis and deciding we were stuck he asks if it would be too inconvenient to go and get my car. He felt bad for asking me to use my car now that his car was dead. Ummm what!??! Then he asked would I rather wait in the car until he got back ( i was in a long summer dress and sandals) or come with him. I opted to go with him. On the 15 minute walk back to my house with his arm around me he talked about everything else besides his car. We got to my house, hoped in my car and grabbed lunch since we were now going to have to see a later showing. We went to the movie and we dealt with the car afterwards. And I have to say I was just in so much disbelief. He wasn't angry, he wasn't mad, he was just calm. He could have cancelled the date, worried about fixing the car or moving it ASAP, or just been a grump because this most likely means a chunk of change to fix the car, but instead he smiled and we continued on with life.<br />
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And I wonder why I've been so brainwashed to believe this isn't the kind of man you want to be with. I have to say I'm REALLY bummed he has to deal with this but I'm kind of grateful I got to be with him when it happened. It's interesting to see how people respond when things head south instantaneously. GTB handled it like a pro. He always impresses me with his grace and class and I wish to be half as amazing as him one day.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When we sit together we always sit like this. And he never ever complains.</td></tr>
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I still don't know that I'm ready for a relationship but that decision is now based entirely on my being afraid to trust someone and nothing to do with the fact he doesn't meet the criteria on my list. Ideally I'd only date someone who made me want to be a better person and who loved God with all he had and was continually trying to be a better person . But, I'm imperfect and I let things like career choices and types of friends cloud my judgement sometimes. He's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He's not perfect but he is trying to be better. He loves the gospel. In three months I've yet to hear him say an unkind word about anyone. He's patient with me. He supports me in everything I do. He is defensive of me and stands up for me when I'm critical of myself. He doesn't think I'm "too much too soon" or "too intense." His <span style="text-align: center;">response to those comments was that I'm perfect the way I am and he wouldn't change a thing about me. He's kind of out of this world unreal. He deserves a chance. I'm not naive. I know that only one relationship will ever work out and I don't know that I'm in a place to have that happen right now but he's going to get his chance. If anything, I'm so unworthy to be with him.</span><br />
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I normally don't post details of dating too much on cyberspace but this was one I deemed worthy of the interwebs.MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-85245049632283561612013-04-15T22:41:00.000-06:002013-04-15T22:41:43.397-06:00The Boston MarathonSo I ran a marathon in October. 26.2 miles. I did it in large part because one of my best friends that I've known since I was 10 had started to run marathons and she made it look so much fun. I'd ALWAYS wanted to cross that off my bucket list and she inspired me to get off my arse and do it. She was the first person I told when I signed up to run a marathon, the first person I texted when I crossed the finish line. We might live across the country but she was my biggest supporter. She qualified for Boston and ran it today. She made comments about not being in PR shape but wanted to just enjoy the marathon this time. Well, 3 minutes after she crossed the finish line an explosion went off and she had to run away.<br />
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All I can think about today are those three minutes. Had she gone to the bathroom, stood in line longer, "enjoyed" it more, something could have happened. Had she tried to PR she could have been a little further away.<br />
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I just don't get it. I can't comprehend wanting to hurt someone so bad. I can't wrap my head around the idea of hurting someone you don't even know- of changing their lives and their loved ones lives for the worse, forever, because of your actions.<br />
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With all awareness that I sound like a 6 year old, why can't we all be nice to each other? Why can't we spend time building each other up? Why is there so much hate and animosity? I know that a lot worse things happen everyday. But, not here in the United States. We live in this 1st world, tech bubble where our problems are the fact the store was out of our favorite conditioner or the wait to get a pedicure was too long. I don't deal with life changing events well. HELLO.<br />
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I don't know. I'm just upset and confused and so overwhelmingly grateful my girl is OK. I hate that she has to bear the burden of being part of this for the rest of her life now though. I hate that a day where she should have celebrated her AMAZING accomplishment of finishing the freaking BOSTON MARATHON had to be overshadowed by the fact this awful thing happened minutes later. That blood ran down the streets, so many were hurt, and lives were lost. You don't just get over a thing like that.MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-5596316916150929052013-04-07T21:25:00.001-06:002013-04-07T21:25:21.536-06:00Holi Goodness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I just wrote a long spiritual post but decided it was one for my journel instead. It was maybe a little too amazing and too personal to share on this here blog-o-sphere. Instead of feeling like I just wasted a bunch of time on no blog at all I'll post some fun pictures. Christine and I went to the Holi festival last weekend. I kind of love the picture of me in the middle of all the colors. It's worth blowing black snot for a week to be part of this beautiful festival of colors!<br />
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There four girls and I have been having dinners for three years now. Through marriages and pregnancies and moves out of state we still get together. I'll never cease to be amazed at the AMAZING friends I have. I'm kind of a really blessed little girl.</div>
<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-36253912020841222072013-03-21T21:34:00.001-06:002013-03-21T21:36:17.978-06:00I Choose HappinessLately the song "tub thumpin" from Chumba Wumba has been playing through my head on an almost nonstop repeat. "I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down." It's become my 2013 year motto I think. The most important decision I make on a DAILY basis is to choose to be happy and to get back up when I've been knocked down.<br />
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That's right. I fake it every.single.day. I start every morning off with a "top of the MARNIN to ya" and when people ask me how I am, I give them my biggest, cheesiest grin and say "JUST PEACHY!!" And, it's a lie. Well, kind of. But as the day goes on and I keep telling people I'm peachy, I do in fact, become peachy.<br />
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This past month has been a stressful one for me; one for the MandiScandal record books for SURE. However, as overcome as I am feeling, and as much as I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, I do, and I try. And everyday brings new wonderful treats and blessings I have to be grateful and happy for. Last night was hard on me and I had all sorts of nightmares and bad dreams about whatever I was stressing about. I woke up and was still in the state of stress and panic. And then a sweet whisper came into my ear seemingly out of nowhere " CHOOSE to be happy". And that made me smile. It made me smile because there are SO many things out of my control right now but MY disposition is not one of them. I can choose to be happy no matter what is going on around me.<br />
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I had lunch today with the beautiful Sammy girl and her sweet baby boy Seth Jr. and I was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am. She listened to me stress about my silly trivial problems that to me are mountains. I told her how I was struggling and tetering between being afraid and having faith in God. So, with all the love in the world encouraged me, told me I was silly, and "making things up in my head." I LOVED that. I love friends who don't let you put yourself down and call you out on it. And then she left me with a scripture like any good friend would.<br />
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2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of <b>power</b>, and of <b>love</b>, and of a <b>sound mind</b>.<br />
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So tomorrow is another day. Another day to overome life's trials and to once again have the agency and ability to choose happiness! Hazzah!MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-43248187756985171632013-02-04T16:32:00.002-07:002013-02-04T16:32:41.203-07:00Complete RandomnessGuys! I called in sick from work today. That like NEVER happens. I can count on one hand the times I've called in sick since I was 16. Two of those times I was in the hospital. One of those times I called and told my boss I was sick of work. And then today. I turned on the news and they said 1.5 million Americans call in sick the Monday after the super bowl from being hung over. Boy oh boy let me tell you. I WAS HUNG OVER. But, on NyQuil. I slept 14 hours Saturday night and 13 hours last night. If sleep is directly correlated to beauty I should look HOT right now. Also, I drunk NyQuil texted a boy last night on accident. Ay dios mio. Will I ever learn?<br />
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I leave you with this picture of Aims and I the day before her wedding day in March 2011. She now has a brand new baby boy as of this morning. I love when I get new "nieces and nephews" from my best friends who are family to me. </div>
MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-6942838255495811792013-01-04T19:03:00.000-07:002013-01-17T21:05:10.747-07:002012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What a whirlwind these past 12 months have been. It's hard to remember a time when I've had such a roller coaster year. 2011 was probably the worst year I've ever had but 2012 held such high highs immediately followed by such low lows it was hard to hold on. Exactly one year ago today on January 4th started that roller coaster when I vowed to let my walls down and I meekly told this guy how I felt about him. He consumed much of my 2012 and I learned so many things about myself I never knew before or vowed to never do again.</div>
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A few days later one of my best friends, Emily, invited a few of her favorite gals over and we made these collages about goals we wanted for 2012. Strength, faith, happiness, being thankful, having hope, and loving myself were things I came up with as well as finding peace in the outdoors, finding balance, (the rocks), having a few close gal friends, and well, the 1000+ guys was just on there for kicks and giggles. I placed this in my room and it's been in the background of my life this past year. I would glance at it but didn't really pay it much attention after that. </div>
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2012 was a breakthrough year for me. Those lows held me down for a while but with the help of God I was able to get up- <b>stronger</b> than I thought. As I would make it through another day I had <b>faith</b> that it would continue to get better because I <b>trusted in God</b> and knew He had a much better plan for me than I had for myself. And you know what? That knowledge made me <b>happier</b> than I could ever ask for and I was beyond <b>gratefu</b>l for that. I ran a freaking MARATHON and <b>I've never felt more proud of myself</b>. I found self confidence for the first time in probably A DECADE! Finding <b>balance</b> between work and making time for running/myself makes me a better person. </div>
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I would have to say that everything on this poster were things I so desperately wanted in 2012 and somewhere along my travels I was able to pick them all up one by one, never really noticing until I was cleaning house the other day. 2012's poster was now obsolete and I realized that every single thing on there was no longer a desire. They were all things I have. </div>
<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-80716667051577269312012-11-27T21:26:00.000-07:002012-12-01T21:27:06.969-07:00Signs of Age<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">I have two hours left of being twenty-seven. (I'm counting in Texas time) Hi. My name is Mandi and I'm twenty-seven. That will be the last time I ever say that.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">Turning one year older always seems such a momentous occasion and so uneventful all at the same time. The past few weeks so many things have happened and I've reacted differently. In those blips of time I pause and think wow...I'm getting old. Like yesterday morning. I was driving to work and some crude, awful, derogatory song came on the radio and it sounded like noise and it didn't make me happy so like I had just swallowed a bar of soap I let loose a noise of awful displeasure while I bat at the radio trying to make it stop, needing to hear something different. I sighed a deep sigh of relief when I heard the familiar tone of Buffalo Springfield crooning "Stop! Hey! What's that soooooound?!!? Everybody look what's going doooooooown!" And I sang happily along and the townspeople rejoiced!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">Did I mention I also watched one of my favorite movies from high school on Saturday?Out of curiosity I looked it up to see what year it came out. It came out 14 years ago. You guys, that's half my lifetime ago. I PROMISE on my big toe nail* it really only came out 3 MAYBE 4 years ago.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">And the other day I was at the ski shop and the CUTEST little ski outfit for a toddler was there and I promise on all that is good my ovary hurt for a mini Mandi to shove in that outfit. ME?!!? Wanting kids!?!? I think my biological clock is contemplating it's start.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">Also, the other day all I really wanted was prunes. I was craving the fruit leather texture and the sweet subtle taste. So, I went to the store and bought a whole vat of prunes. Every night I eat a handful like it's the best treat I've ever been given. I'd take a prune over a snickers bar ANY day.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">Also Also, It's 9:03 and I'm ready for bed.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">So let it be written. So let it be done.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">I'm old. At least I LOOK hot and young!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: justify;">*tricks on you. I don't have a big toe nail anymore. I'd show you a picture you would prolly pee your pants.</span>MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-27349654042039392592012-11-12T00:48:00.001-07:002012-11-12T00:59:31.630-07:00Mexico! Part 2<br />
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OK Y'all! I'm really lazy so I'm mostly just going to post more pictures. One of the days I was there Kens took me to this BEEEEEEEEAUTIFUL park near Matt's university. I think it was 50 cents or so a person to get in but it was this huge park with running trails, a Japanese garden and a duck pond. Though let the record show there are very aggressive turtles, squirrels,birds and FISH at the duck pond. All demz animals want to eat yo bread! </div>
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Umm ok HOW awesome is this shot I got of the squirrel begging for food?!? Awesome! I know.<br />
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One of the highlights of the trip is this AMAZING pewter store. I wanted about three of everything in the store. I took this picture to send to this guy obsessed with pineapples. They had EVERYTHING there. It was wonderful.<br />
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ummmm ok seriously! how CUTE is this little boy?!?! Henry was rocking my cheap-o traveling sunglasses while we were shopping.<br />
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I kind of love these people a lot.<br />
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I was fortunate to get to celebrate Mexican Independance Day while I was there. It was great! There was a big of a language barrier but between my small amounts of spanish and their bigger amounts of English it all worked out. SERIOUSLY!!! Such amazing homecooked food. All day they were outside setting up and the boys were singing songs and yelling VIVA MEXICO!! It woke me up from my nap and made me laugh. The party was fun and they wanted to know what Americans do at parties. They were dancing and singing and playing games and there were less than a dozen of us there. I really should take note and start throwing better parties.<br />
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Did I mention I took a nap almost EVERY.SINGLE.DAY I was there?!?! That's the life I tell you. I had more naps in One week than I think I usually get in a year.<br />
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The night of the BYU vs. Utah game Matt streamed the game on his laptop and we watched with MUCH anticipation. When mom is a die hard UTES fan and dad is a die hard BYU fan, SOMEONE isn't going to be happy the next day. Luckily Dad is a good sport and Matt dressed Henry in this Utes t-shirt. I think he was our lucky mascot and thankfully the Utes came through with a win.<br />
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I love how prominent skeletons are in the Mexican culture. They are actually really cool! I loved seeing them everywhere you went and in all the different shops.<br />
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Last but not least... I wish I had easier access to apple flavored lift here in Salt Lake. I'm kind of crazy about it.<br />
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Till next time ladies and gents.<br />
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<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-22016739738644478202012-11-11T20:50:00.000-07:002012-11-17T20:51:22.554-07:00Golden NovemberAs milestones approach I usually approach them with excitement and a positive attitude. As much as I dislike change, I always appreciate a new beginning. The start of a new school year, birthdays, and the new year always bring joy, excitement and hope.<br />
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This year is my GOLDEN birthday and I'm sure it will be THE year for me. I've been looking forward to my golden birthday since I found out what it was a few years ago. I was thankful I hadn't missed mine yet! For those of you who are unaware, a golden birthday is when you turn the age of the day you were born on. So, since I was born on November 28th my golden birthday is this year. I'll be TWENTY FREAKING EIGHT years old! I still feel like I'm 18.<br />
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On a side note. A boy was flirting with me in church today. I could tell he was younger than me but I guessed 23-25. He was bragging about how he had graduated in 2011. I was like HIGH SCHOOL?!?! Yes, he confirmed. High school. No worries... it's not like I'm 10 years older than him or anything. Mental forehead slap. That conversation quickly ended on my part. HaHa.<br />
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So, It's going to be THE year. This golden year has been quite some time in the making. A year and a half ago I met someone and felt like I ran into a brick wall all at the same time. Making this new friend totally changed the course of my life from day 1. I ran into a brick wall and got knocked into reality. I knew I needed to adjust life. Not that I am or was some horrible person. Far from it. But I was lazy. Have you ever known people who just made you want to be your best self? I've known people who have uplifted me but never have I been so aware of all the little things I could change in my life. Never have I so desperately wanted to be exponentially better. This person never asked me to change, never criticized anything about me, in fact our interaction over the past 18 months really has been minimal. Being in the same room as them just made me want to improve myself. And so I did. Not for them, not for anyone, but for myself. And, well, for God.<br />
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And boy oh boy let me tell you. I'm pretty sure for the first time EVER in my life I'm happy. Things aren't going MY way at alllllllll and that's MORE than ok!! I've come to trust God 1000%. I thought I was trusting him before but only when it was easy to. Right now I trust Him completely even though my heart is breaking. And you know what? That's an exciting and very fun thought! Because I have a million wonderful plans for my life, but I know He has better ones. So, if I don't get what I want I'm happy. It just means something better is in store! I've learned patience like nobody's business. I get knocked down, but then I get up again!! (You're never gonna keep me down!) I find joy in the little things. All these little things add up to me really feeling on top of the world. I can promise you that from where I stand no one has a better life than me right now. So Golden Birthday- BRING IT ON! I'm excited for 28.MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-3970210636386117112012-11-07T23:09:00.000-07:002012-11-07T23:12:34.697-07:00Bienvenido A Mexico!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
There are few things I hate more than people who take a trip somewhere and then break it down into multiple posts about the trip detailing every person, place, thing they saw, smelled, touched, heard, tasted etc! Good grief Charlie Brown! Just slap some pictures up on the blog and say what a good time you had and be done with it! </div>
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That being said, welcome to part ONE of my Mexico vacation! Bahahaha. These will mostly be pictures.</div>
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My brand spanking new passport. I'll admit I was kind of worried to get it. These aren't cheap to a poor working girl trying to pay back student loans and what if my name changes in the next ten years? I'll have to get a brand new one! BUT!!! I have to live in the here and now so I got me a passport and I was on my way to MEXICO!!<br />
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Welcome to the Vegas airpot. It's miserable. I loathe the Vegas Airport slightly less than I loathe the Denver airport. But as much as I hate those airports NO airport comes close to how much I really can't stand<br />
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LAX!! Oh LAX, how I dislike you. Let me count the ways....<br />
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Boarding the plane from LAX to GDL. Ummm will you judge me if I felt a little uncomfortable that everyone on the plane was Mexican?<br />
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It kind of blew my mind when I stepped on the plane and no one was speaking English and the instructions were written in both English and Spanish. It was kind of a culture shock when NO ONE on the plane was reading a book or had earphones in listening to music. Everyone was talking to each other and the men all grabbed bags when we landed for the women. Many carried them for elderly women and I was EXTREMELY impressed. Men in America could take a note from that book. <br />
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The customs line was VERY long once I landed in Mexico. Made it through OK even though my customs lady was NOT very nice when I had trouble communicating in Spanish. Like seriously? I'm an American and I'm pretty sure you see tons of us all the time. You honestly can't speak English or find someone who does? Once I got through I couldn't find Matt and McKensie. I was a little shaken up from traveling and I had failed to actually communicate WHERE we would meet. I may or may not have started to cry after a few minutes feeling stranded in a foreign country without a working phone and not knowing how or where to meet my party. Thankfully the AMAZING kind Mexican people came to the rescue. A man smoking nearby asked me if I wanted money for a hotel and asked if he could take me to dinner. As dapper as that gentleman was, a woman stepped in and put her arm around me and calmed me down. She texted Matt and McKensie and told them where I was and wished me luck. I went back inside the airport and once again started to cry when I saw my beautiful amazing best friend and her family there waiting for me.<br />
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My first morning there Henry came in to hang out with me in my bedroom. I'm kind of in love with this sweetheart and he is very in love with his trucks.<br />
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We went to downtown Guadalajara and bought some goods in preparation for Mexican Independence day and I was in awe of how BEAUTIFUL the city was the whole entire time. I mean, is this for real? People actually live in places like this? I have to say I'm very envious of the experiences Matt and Kens get to have.<br />
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Later that night we visited this taco cart. I hadn't eaten meat in probably close to two months when I went to go visit them and yet I pounded down a good 1/3 to 1/2 of this meat plate in no time flat. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever tasted!!!<br />
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Well, that concludes this portion of the recap. Until next time!MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-65257631961072363052012-11-04T23:08:00.000-07:002012-11-04T23:08:15.197-07:00Fast SundayThis past May or June I decided to REALLY start participating in Fast Sunday. A friend had me read the Miracle of Forgiveness. Most people read it when they have something they need to repent of or someone they need to forgive. I read it because they loaned it to me and it was probably time to return it. I think because I wasn't really looking to get anything out of the book I got some interesting things out of it. One of the chapters talks about fasting and how it is a commandment. The chapter goes into detail but it peaked my interest. <div>
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I've been Mormon my whole entire life and I've "fasted" countless times. In my family, fasting consists of skipping breakfast and then complaining about being hungry during three hours of church and then eating right after church at noon. A lot of this probably has to do with the fact both of my parents are diabetic and actually CAN'T fast for health reasons. Even after I moved out of their house I kept that tradition or just flat out didn't fast. A few times I went without food for 24 hours but never did anything else associated with it. So, I decided I was going to do it. 24 hours of no food or water. I was going to start my fast with a prayer for specific desires, questions, whatever. I would go 24 hours without food or water to strengthen myself spiritually and help bring me closer to my creator. I would pay a fast offering to contribute the money I WOULD have spent on those three meals to someone who needs it. There were a few times I felt a pang of hunger but I would say a quick prayer and it would go away. Church was 20 x's better than I ever remembered it. At the end of the 24 hours I say another prayer before I break my fast. So, I repeated the same thing the next month, and the next month, and the next and the well you get the idea. A few of those prayers are the most sincere prayers I've offered ever in my life. Tears were shed and pleas made. Pleas for the health of others, pleas for direction in my life, whatever. </div>
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I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to fast. It refuels me for another month and really brings me closer to my Savior. The love I feel is overwhelming while I fast and I make plans to save the world and cure hunger and create world peace. I don't know how I've gone so long without making this a monthly habit. </div>
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I know this isn't my usual blog post but I can't find my journal right now and I really just wanted to write it down. Thanks for indulging me.</div>
MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-70472387256742054962012-10-28T22:26:00.001-06:002012-10-28T22:26:09.305-06:00Boy Oh BoyMan I have I got a lot of catching up on the blog to do! I've recently uploaded all of my pictures from Mexico. IT WAS A BLAST! I was definitely self conscious living in someone else's home for what seemed like an eternity, but besides my parents there is no one else I'd rather be with that much! I miss my Wilkinson's so much already!<br />
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Since coming back from Mexico 6 weeks ago I've moved- AGAIN, ran the St. George Marathon, had my cousin in town, had my parents and sister in town, went to women's conference, had several beyond amazing experiences in the temple, and FINALLY got to sleep in MY OWN BED after four months. Phew!<br />
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Last week I was running late to my new ward. In my frustration I got lost and couldn't find the building. Once I got to the building I drove around for several minutes trying to find a parking spot. After no success I parked very far away and made it into the building with NO idea where I was supposed to be. There was people everywhere. If there is one thing I do well, it's make friends. This was the unfriendliest ward I had ever been to. Everyone was either 18, was completely socially awkward, or attached to the hip of their significant other. No one I smiled at or introduced myself to really cared to reciprocate. <br />
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This Sunday I had a friend from my old ward come with me. I needed back up. It was also ward conference. The stake president came to relief society and exuded so much love I was swimming in it. He expressed his concern and love for us and said how much he wanted us to be happy. He talked about the amazing relationship he has with his own wife and how he had 5 daughters he loved dearly. Of course the topic turned to dating and marriage as one girl expressed her frustrations and how she felt defeated. He shared a story that recently he received an email from a gentleman in the stake saying he was new and were there any girls the Stake President would recommend him asking out. The boy had done this in previous stakes and said he found it to be pretty successful. My stake president then detailed the list of attributes the guy listed off in his potential spouse with disgust even though some of them were legitimate desires and others were not. He warned us that if any guys we dated were like this gentlemen we needed to avoid them. He said he simply responded to the guy that he could not help him out. He said any guy whose list is longer than two attributes needs to grow up and come back to reality- that it wasn't a righteous thing to do. He said we needed to remember only two things when we date 1) Will that person love and support you in everything you do? / Will they be a worthy spouse? 2) Will they be the kind of parent you want your children to have? I would personally add a third to that. 3) Do they make me laugh?<br />
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I have to tell you. I felt so loved by the Savior and so loved by my stake president when I left church today. Too often I get down on myself because I'm trying to fit all the attributes on someone else's list or I feel bad because I'll NEVER fit the attributes on someone's list. For the first time I realized how silly that is. I'm me. And I'll never stop trying to be a better me but I also don't need to worry. If someone doesn't realize just how awesome I am that's their loss. Not mine. I don't need to take it personally. It's definitely OK if someone doesn't like me, but that doesn't mean I need to change. It just means they are silly and most likely focused on unimportant things, and that one day, someone will realize I'm about as loyal and supporting as they come and hopefully they will think starting a family with me would be pretty rad. And we ALLLLLL know I'm funny so I'm definitely good for the laughs!<br />
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My life is pretty amazing right now and I don't think there is a thing about it I'd change.<br />
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As a teaser I'll leave you with a picture of THIS stud muffin. I'll post lots of pictures from Mexico soon. Little H is one of the sweetest boys on the face of the planet and he LOVES his trucks! I dare you to find a person whose heart doesn't melt at seeing this picture!<br />
<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-88910464017936314012012-09-30T23:10:00.000-06:002012-09-30T23:10:00.454-06:00Something That Makes Me Smile<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My brother. And watching him become an amazing husband and father.</div>
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<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-34554582791658996882012-09-23T22:59:00.000-06:002012-09-23T22:59:00.453-06:00Something That Makes Me Smile<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Weird & awkward photos of myself. For some reason, the uglier I look, the harder I laugh. If you want to know why I date so much well, no need to wonder any more!</div>
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<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-73289336932729555962012-09-16T23:03:00.000-06:002012-09-16T23:03:00.506-06:00Something That Makes Me Smile<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Rainbow colored hair and eyebrows.</div>
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<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-6082952911345388792012-09-14T11:31:00.000-06:002012-09-14T11:31:00.191-06:00Ode to a friend: Beddy BearSo one day in March I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. While talking to my dear friend Bedford and without him knowing the details of why I was throwing this pity party he told me, "<b>the presence of a lion is always intense to a sheep"</b>. I was kind of offended he would call me a lion. I don't want to be a lion. I wanted to be the sheep. Lions aren't feminine. People don't want to be friends with lions and boys definitely don't want to date a lion. Bed has a way of making you feel like a million bucks though. He wouldn't let me accept anything other than the fact I was a strong and powerful woman. He makes me own it and makes me feel sexy and wanted instead of masculine and gross.<br />
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I went snowboarding with Bed a few times this past winter. The first time I went out this season was with him. He wouldn't let me warm up on the bunny hill. He took me straight up the mountain and told me to find my way down. He was so patient the whole entire time. I may or may not have thrown the most colossal fit of my life after a few hours of boarding. My legs were tired, I didn't remember how to do it, and I wanted to give up with another 30 minutes to the bottom. Without missing a beat he grabbed my hand, told me how amazing I was doing, and led me the entire way down the hill smiling, laughing, and encouraging me the entire time.<br />
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I could tell several dozen stories of why Bedford is one of my favorite people. Another one could be that he will drive from Orem to Salt Lake during rush hour just to be my date for a two hour event. Every woman needs a friend or brother like Bedford. One lucky woman will get to spend eternity with him and I'll secretly be jealous. Thanks for always making me comfortable in my own skin and never asking me to change or apologize for who I am. You see the best in me. Oh, and Happy Birthday Beddy Bear!!!! I hope you get everything you wish for and more. XO<br />
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<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-6002348743495685742012-09-12T00:18:00.001-06:002012-09-12T00:18:27.080-06:00TravelingSo, traveling kind of scares me a bit. I freak out and worry that I'll die. I've made jokes for the past two weeks in passing. "Oh, in case I die just tell my roommate to look at the letter on my bed. All the info you need will be in there." Laura already knows the drill. I'm crazy. I mean, we could technically ALL die tomorrow. If there is one thing my seminary teacher taught me its that no one is guaranteed tomorrow. But you guys!! Doesn't that probability increase when you get on who knows how many planes and travel to an unknown country? Prolly so. I'm kind of stressing because I have 5 packages that should have been taken to the post office but there was ZERO time y'all!! ZERO. Work was so busy and I was home for 0.02 seconds today. I just fear that if I die and those packages sit there unmailed people will think I'm tacky when they go into my room and discover it. Proof I'm just as horrible a friend/sister/daughter as everyone always suspected.<br />
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so, if i die, someone get those packages out. and I'm really sorry all of my laundry isn't done. But most likely I'll see you all soon. right?<br />
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ok good.<br />
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<br />MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-80989241375172795572012-09-09T22:03:00.001-06:002012-09-09T22:42:58.300-06:00So I'm a late bloomer<br />
You guys! Dreams really do come true and prayers are answered! All growing up I always felt left out. All three of my sisters were in girl scouts and my only brother became an Eagle Scout. Meanwhile, inbetween my dad unlocking the shed and throwing gruel for me to eat from the muddy floor and screaming, "we hate you. you are are least favorite child and we wish you were never born! you ruined all our lives!!" I would think to myself, "self, if one day you can escape this shed you could become a girl scout and all your wildest dreams would come true. You could maybe sleep in the house on a real bed like your siblings." Well, I'll tell you what. Escape that shed I did...but by that time I was 19 and the Girl Scouts of America told me to take a hike. I was too old and would cramp their style. Well, I'll tell you what. They thought about that for a few years and took it all back. A few weekends ago I was able to attend a "Girls Night Out" fundraiser for the Girl Scouts. When I signed in they basically had to beg and plead me to join. I promised I would on the condition they give me a badge. BOOM. Like that! I had a badge and I was a member. Just don't come looking for me come cookie season because I'm totally hogging all that for myself. Anyway, I got to enjoy a weekend at the Girl Scout camp. I went canoeing, fly fishing, did some zumba, had my hair braided, was given complimentary massages, was fed grapes by handsome buff men by the names of Hans and Fabio, and about every thirty seconds everyone told me how beautiful I was and how I was the coolest girl scout ever. So take THAT Jenny Tucker. Let me just tell you, it's GOOD to be a Girl Scout. They live the dream I tell you! And it only took me 27 years to get here. Better late than never and it was definitely worth the wait!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">About to have my childhood dreams come true!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to Girl Scout Camp!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A "dirty girl scout" an alcoholic beverage I abstained from.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Check out that cake!</td></tr>
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So,MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-6948497077421356992012-09-01T23:34:00.001-06:002012-09-09T22:52:21.754-06:00perfectionyou know how sometimes life is really crappy all around you and you don't care because you've had a few moments of perfection that make everything else insignificant? today was one of those days for me.<br />
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Today was perfect. One of my favorite people and I hung out. and got to see my ALL TIME favorite band Imagine Dragons for the prerelease and signing of their new album. We went to lunch before the singing and he asked me what my top three favorite songs were. I had to think about it. The chart topper for me has always been Hear Me. Second was It's time and third was Radioactive. Wouldn't you know it that the lead singer just had surgery and they only played three songs. Want to know which ones? Any day with the sentence " I saw Imagine Dragons today" is a PERFECT day for me. Throw in great Indian food and one of my favorite people and I just can't think of many days that rival it.It's days like today that get me through all the crappy and mundane ones. </div>
MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-43129781765937119212012-08-29T00:27:00.001-06:002012-09-09T22:53:02.227-06:00Hi<br />
I've been wanting to start blogging again lately but I can't think of much I want to share with the world. However, today was pretty epic. I recently <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/105814970/cheered-up-print">ordered a print from Roma Winkel </a>on Etsy and it came in the mail today.<br />
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I literally squealed with excitement I don't know how many times. Now I just need to find a suitable frame. I'm so lucky to know so many talented people and call them my friend. Isn't this the greatest reminder to let go of yourself and serve others?</div>
MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-17055356126861550492012-04-01T23:23:00.002-06:002012-04-03T22:12:42.434-06:00Because I Still Miss HimThis evening, after I'd had a long and wonderful day of instruction and inspiration from my ecclesiastical leaders via my religion's church conference I decided to do some cleaning. One of my roommates had left a horrible mess in the kitchen for weeks. I've learned to be patient over the years of having roommates and instead of getting mad or upset I have learned to calmly let them clean up after themselves in their own timeframe. However, it had been weeks and I was home alone all weekend. I figured it wouldn't get done for another week so I set out on the task of scrubbing the stove. <br />
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I enjoy cleaning because it gives me time to think and contemplate. As I started cleaning I looked out the kitchen window and marveled at what a beautiful day it was. The rain/snow that drizzled off and on all day brought moisture to the earth and cleared the skies. The budding tulips in my neighbor's prize winning garden* (no real prize but there should be) glistened and I was in pure awe. I contrasted it to a year ago today. I relived each hour during the day. Remembering the casket being closed, silently pleading for this to be the sickest April Fool's joke ever concocted and swearing to be OK with it and not even the least bit mad as long as it was a joke. April 1, 2011 wasn't the least bit rainy like it was today. I figured the valley was mourning the burial one year ago today of one of it's greatest inhabitants.<br />
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Some time later I noticed the sun was beginning to set and I realized with greater awareness what it would do to the sky and how it would affect it. I could tell how it would shine on different parts of the valley, highlighting it like the star of the show in a high school musical production and as I have all day, I thought of Garrett when I thought "someone should take a photo of this indescribable beauty right now". I thought of how he would have known how light affects the view and I thought of how if he were alive he would have sat there and waited and waited to snap a picture until the light was perfect because he was on a search to "find beauty". And then it hit me. It was so simple and it's taken me this long to get it.<br />
<br />
The past year or so, and especially the last few months I've been tired of waiting and wasting life. I wanted to live life x passion like G. He spirt was stolen from both this Earth and our presence INCREDIBLY too soon. Yet, besides the selfish feelings of pain, loss, and separation, everyone was OK with it. He lived more in his 26 years of life than I could hope to live in 126. He made things happen when he was passionate about it. He MADE THINGS HAPPEN. He didn't sit around and wait. And the past few months I've decided to make things happen - just like G did.<br />
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But tonight was a contradiction all in of itself. Because he did wait. When he saw something worth waiting for he recognized the value and importance of waiting, he would wait to capture it at it's optimum beauty. G would tell stories of getting up early or waiting all night for the perfect light to capture for ONE photo. I cherished those days when he would call me into his room or we would "set up appointments" for me to look at his "images" as he always referred them. I would pick out my favorites and even though I wasn't qualified to judge photography at ALL I would point things out like, "oh, I really love the lines in this photo", "the essence of this photo is so genuine. i love that you got this lady to laugh". I wanted to sound like I knew what I was doing. I wanted to be an asset and I would pick apart each photo. One of my favorite photos was of a boy in a parade. One photo he was masked and the next he had pulled it up for G. I love that photo. During those times of sitting at his computer carefully picking which 5 pictures would get the star G's tall 6'7" body would be hunched over me retelling the stories of capturing those images and I loved that time I got to spend with him. I loved and admired him and I wanted his approval. I felt important when he told me his stories so I would sit there and let him talk as long as he wanted. It often wasn't long but I'm glad I had the opportunity to listen.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghPjh9Q7uC5NCkMGWTXfvaFYlwn04wD2kCETAJ-kZikdMLZZDgNGPxpeUtTI62AKZwLHuMxaQntpvgNJNJxJqAb_D47fmHmi7Z8m3JfE5lZKXvo_1gDoVfzXk2gjvtYxccO1iDAdnsxBNW/s1600/IMG_0662.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghPjh9Q7uC5NCkMGWTXfvaFYlwn04wD2kCETAJ-kZikdMLZZDgNGPxpeUtTI62AKZwLHuMxaQntpvgNJNJxJqAb_D47fmHmi7Z8m3JfE5lZKXvo_1gDoVfzXk2gjvtYxccO1iDAdnsxBNW/s320/IMG_0662.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>What I learned and didn't really digest until today though was that he also waited. I'm glad I remember him telling me the pain it took, and that they didn't just come easy. He worked for those photos. It's the combination of the two that really make life beautiful. Knowing when to act and knowing when to wait are the keys to capturing the most beautiful images of life. You have to just put yourself in a position and then wait for the beauty to come. And, sometimes it didn't come. Sometimes the light wouldn't pull through and he would have to wait another day. As I sat at the breakfast table contemplating all this and staring out the window I realized the night sky was now dark and the twinkle of city lights now lit up my view. The sun had safely made it's way past the Oquirrh mountain range to visit other cities for the time being. I had lost the view of it today but gained even more of an appreciation of this mountain of a man I looked up to.<br />
<br />
G has changed my life and I'm so grateful to have known him. I'll never be able to thank him enough for that. On a day widely celebrated for practical jokes, there will always be a portion of reverence for him in my heart.MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-60808399468096439642012-03-28T21:20:00.002-06:002012-09-01T22:12:07.137-06:00Wasting Time<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Am</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">...surviving one day at a day. </span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Want</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... a redo</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Have</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... A SLIGHT obsession with skiing/snowboarding videos</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Wish</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... I didn't have student loans.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Hate</b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... that my yard is not conducive to a vegetable garden.</span></span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Hear</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... Imagine Dragons playing in the background.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Search</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... my closest for something to wear every.day.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Wonder</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... if I will ever be brave enough.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Regret</b><b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">.</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">...not taking risks and chances earlier in my life.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Love</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... someone who doesn't love me back.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Ache</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... in my knee rul bad. Blasted old age and snowboarding!</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Always</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... sleep on my left side even though I know it's not healthy. The right side just isn't comfortable.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Usually</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... don't eat after 7pm if I haven't already eaten.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Am Not</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... a wife, mother, or homeowner.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Dance</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">...ALL the time. I even hold dance parties before hours. Crank the music and make everyone DANCE.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Sing</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">… horribly but that doesn't stop me.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Never</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... think it's funny when people fart in public.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Rarely</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... participate in gossip. It's silly and childish and I've got enough going on in my own life. Why do I need to worry about someone else's?</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Cry</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... more than I ever have in my life. Mostly when I feel alone or really proud of someone.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Am Not Always</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... proud of myself.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I'm Confused</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">.... all the time.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Need</b><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">... more sleep, a massage, and triple my salary.</span></div>
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<b style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I Promise</b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">.... to stop taking life so seriously and also lightly. I'm going to keep fighting until I get what I want but not sweat the other stuff.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br />
</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Idea stolen from <a href="http://www.celiasway.com/2012/03/celia.html">Celia</a></span></span></div>
MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-71545987268908114762012-03-25T23:14:00.000-06:002012-03-25T23:14:08.913-06:00Happy Birthday Sunshine!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheYz4MfT244eQ_WtZwy2dpf-FQzrrEIBx0GFu2gSqFf4ddjtq-VSfFvQObk4a3SAOBMC7VuNx0qfWy0vdp__qhYRcW479_Q2gVZkEEVTWDC-JB5Gshb_sLcglMy4tzCwRFI8LIpRMYPXuG/s1600/CIMG4419.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheYz4MfT244eQ_WtZwy2dpf-FQzrrEIBx0GFu2gSqFf4ddjtq-VSfFvQObk4a3SAOBMC7VuNx0qfWy0vdp__qhYRcW479_Q2gVZkEEVTWDC-JB5Gshb_sLcglMy4tzCwRFI8LIpRMYPXuG/s320/CIMG4419.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> You've had a birthday should HOORAY!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRWIlcJ056h3pmjp47U_b_W6Ly0OAM4NHohmux0_lzm82-RRmY_cDgr98eLyxi_xlzM1oOKxUCK2UCXdh3x83ka7e9mF4Wl7OfOZivlrQ4aP0K5McewVre88k0vzNor8F-lsgU5KuK_117/s1600/CIMG4495.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRWIlcJ056h3pmjp47U_b_W6Ly0OAM4NHohmux0_lzm82-RRmY_cDgr98eLyxi_xlzM1oOKxUCK2UCXdh3x83ka7e9mF4Wl7OfOZivlrQ4aP0K5McewVre88k0vzNor8F-lsgU5KuK_117/s320/CIMG4495.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>I want to sing to you TODAY!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJk7S342lzEyp5xRRxKzUtN3RYZ_1RRV9ofWVnUTsyki3S7xBs_ploPwYncu-IlZeV2rlk_LR3tdxoZgrSQtGNp2ckImSR4J_xo8IuHXJ3xG9VWtOoKAtjqBcnywDLPRChTKj9OfhlE5ri/s1600/CIMG5296.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJk7S342lzEyp5xRRxKzUtN3RYZ_1RRV9ofWVnUTsyki3S7xBs_ploPwYncu-IlZeV2rlk_LR3tdxoZgrSQtGNp2ckImSR4J_xo8IuHXJ3xG9VWtOoKAtjqBcnywDLPRChTKj9OfhlE5ri/s320/CIMG5296.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> ONE YEAR OLDER<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkKS8rk1iv1zGX6QEhBDpx7M_zbaF9b3hpaLipslqiMvuCLGUhdDoHtN4sQFIlCPuo9FWTKaqyQ6XUTLeY2BvD8PituguecLZ3FptMg0FLHXQdhYC55JfNCW8N4ZFoNmHOencG9W31anMV/s1600/CIMG5310.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkKS8rk1iv1zGX6QEhBDpx7M_zbaF9b3hpaLipslqiMvuCLGUhdDoHtN4sQFIlCPuo9FWTKaqyQ6XUTLeY2BvD8PituguecLZ3FptMg0FLHXQdhYC55JfNCW8N4ZFoNmHOencG9W31anMV/s320/CIMG5310.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> AND WISER TOO<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDwl15MrN1wzBeEcvzgywQo1Bzy_VTEjamrSI99YhhtDqDU9wiGLmNxl9u8xTKKRZtd2TNuCCExu8bBc0yuX8fDIpX7NetUc5RZmpQp8N6o4bnSqMV6JbjUDC47Mos-aN-XsJj_Qc7aNY/s1600/CIMG5582.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDwl15MrN1wzBeEcvzgywQo1Bzy_VTEjamrSI99YhhtDqDU9wiGLmNxl9u8xTKKRZtd2TNuCCExu8bBc0yuX8fDIpX7NetUc5RZmpQp8N6o4bnSqMV6JbjUDC47Mos-aN-XsJj_Qc7aNY/s320/CIMG5582.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> HAPPY BIRTHDAY<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidCxyx5_9sYSdu5RQAoHjObgoZzJq2UEtM4lkoLJnryQBjhvKY7WNn0cTYSNEY0UzOHhHwAkzW49UqaCJVlrS13upkHOUHyQT91S9j_JkVzTMJh3CCibn0SA-Gdl_zFZM6WZm5-reCqnJS/s1600/CIMG5642.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidCxyx5_9sYSdu5RQAoHjObgoZzJq2UEtM4lkoLJnryQBjhvKY7WNn0cTYSNEY0UzOHhHwAkzW49UqaCJVlrS13upkHOUHyQT91S9j_JkVzTMJh3CCibn0SA-Gdl_zFZM6WZm5-reCqnJS/s320/CIMG5642.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> TO YOU!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Kens, words cannot describe my love for you! you are my sister. You have been my confidant, shoulder to cry on, teacher, student, and everything else. The majority of my memories since being in Utah involve you. Late night birthday parties, GAMMA, ghost encounters, skivvies, Deb's cabin and boys, drives in the Honda, naps on your patio, basketball games, concerts, trampoline memories, you meeting and falling in love with Matt, making me go on your SECOND date with Matt to the zoo, watching you be sealed to him, Henry's first day on Earth, ticket to ride, sharing a bed, drives on sidewalks, and so so so much more. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">To say I am honored to know you and call you my best friend and sister is an understatement. But, it is an honor. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my sister you'll be! Today is the day you were born! Please know that I'll forever be grateful that Doug and Debbie brought you into this world. Without your presence I'd be lost. you have made a difference in this world and I'd like to celebrate that! Please know I wish I could be in Mexico with you on this day. Even though I can't, I'll be there soon.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> xoxoxo</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Scandal</div>MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-38851025598700080682012-03-07T21:14:00.000-07:002012-03-07T21:14:36.444-07:00I refuse to live one more day like thisI think it's safe to say that I've been angry for the past 14 months of my life. What I'm angry about we don't need to get into. It's been one thing or another but I'm angry at the universe. <div><br />
</div><div>And I've finally decided to put that anger to good use. I'm angry that I've been angry. I'm angry at the way I've lived my life these past 27 years. I'm nothing but a fraud. </div><div><br />
</div><div>"I wish to live deliberately" has always been my "motto" but I haven't ever lived by it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I'm too *@#$#@$ scared to live by it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Too afraid of what people will think if I lived my life my way.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Too afraid of what I will think if I lived life my way.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Too scared to be rejected.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Too nervous to be hurt physically or emotionally.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Too timid to say "I Love You" or, "I really dig you"</div><div><br />
</div><div>Too afraid of messing up the future </div><div><br />
</div><div>but I've already screwed it all up. I've missed out on 27 years of my life that I'll NEVER get back. I've missed so many opportunities for life and love because I just sat there...sat there and was the ever supportive cheerleader for people to do what they wanted while I was afraid to interject. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Forget <b>that</b>.</div><div><br />
</div><div>My time is now. I'm doing what I want. Because I'm not going to live another day and regret it. If you're my real friend you'll support me. And if you aren't, I really don't need fake people in my life anyway. </div><div><br />
</div><div>kthanksbye.</div>MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7093541074245831509.post-67173435011487079572011-12-12T21:47:00.001-07:002011-12-12T21:51:03.267-07:00Thank Heavens for Wonderful FriendsI've been super stressed the past few weeks and I can turn to a grouch in no time flat. I was kind of being a super grump tonight and so I stopped by this person's house.<br />
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</div>I have such amazing friends it's unreal. In 0.2 seconds flat I was feeling better about life. Neal is one of those people that just makes life <b>better </b>just by being in the same room as him. I'm pretty lucky to have him in my life; not to mention the handful of other "Neals" I have in my life. You know who you are. Thanks for being so awesome.MandiScandalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03220229491895384268noreply@blogger.com0